The following was posted on Craigslist and I received if via email from a friend. Fabulously entertaining!
****
An economic analysis of "gold digging" in NYC and enjoyable nonetheless. The posting is interesting, but the response is the best.
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST RECENTLY.
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate
and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy
who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but
keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so
I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer marri ed to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind
of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in
looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about y our dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That
said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. The n the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.
Classy just about says it right.
Posted by: jglc | June 25, 2009 at 10:39 AM
ROFL
Posted by: eacoder =) | July 11, 2009 at 12:09 PM
BITCH WHATTUP NOW
Posted by: REGGIE | July 13, 2009 at 06:25 PM
Pwned.
Posted by: DuckyVader | July 13, 2009 at 07:04 PM
SIT DOWN WHEN YOU PEE!
Posted by: Anon | July 13, 2009 at 07:08 PM
haha, that's a great response. A+!
Posted by: Pete | July 13, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Be a kind, sweet, generous, helpful, handy, fun, sweet, caring, loving, happy woman and men will fall to their knees in front of you if you look like Shrek. If you act like a twat you'll get treated like one.
Posted by: icandothat | July 13, 2009 at 11:54 PM
Oh my god !!!
I have never met anyone more dumb than you !!!
Posted by: Ryan | July 14, 2009 at 03:57 AM
Is nobody going to refute the one million a year being middle class in New York City? Thats like what CEO's of decent sized companies make, not middle class by any means. In fact about 20 times more than what you might say a middle class person would make.
Posted by: rargh | July 14, 2009 at 05:11 AM
This is the Best Thing Ive Seen...!
Posted by: rachel | July 14, 2009 at 05:15 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-64J7BAYSw
Posted by: rachel | July 14, 2009 at 05:16 AM
grl u r strange really very strange
Posted by: spiceyandcool | July 14, 2009 at 05:43 AM
Business school will teach you everything. Guys 1 girls 0
Posted by: Nick | July 14, 2009 at 08:07 AM
Pwned!!!
xD
Posted by: laughing! | July 14, 2009 at 09:27 AM
haha good luck, maybe if you're you're so smart and articulate, get a job yourself so you know what it's like to work a day in your life! I hope you end up with some poor hick making $35,000 a year.
Posted by: J | July 14, 2009 at 10:52 AM
I hope someone throws acid in her face!
Posted by: Beekermc | July 14, 2009 at 12:10 PM
I know someone has said this already but seriously girl you were pWn3d
Posted by: debo | July 21, 2009 at 07:17 AM
Honestly people, I don't think there's any reason to be rude. She felt she was being honest, and knows she's superficial. Although I admire self confidence, it's obvious that she wants what a lot of women want, stability... money, and a committed guy would offer these things... in her mind. Though it sounds like she basically just wants a sugardaddy or Prince Charming. Although these are :: clears throat:: Lovely delusions for a mentally challenged female, or just a lonely one with too much time and debt. She needs to realise that only she can provide for herself. Work hard, play less, and be picky about who you get involved with. Think less about income, and more about the stability of the man's life. If he's stable, and you're stable, then you're both set, and both will be happy, and not feel taken advantage of by the other. (I can't help but wonder about her upbringing.)
All said an done. There is no need for cussing, or insults as it only makes you look stupid. If you try to put yourself in the other person's shoes (which is easier said then done for some), you'll begin to understand the world around you and will learn to articulate your thoughts easier then with such simple forms of communication like cussing (it solves nothing).
And for those curious, I am a 33yr old female, that's cute, not gorgeous, and still single. Why? Well that's a different story and not worth going into. Needless to say, all my debit, and money problems, can only be fixed by ME, and although a Knight in Shining Armor (though dented is fine, since I can shine armor)is a great fantasy, expecting so much for so little is just plain stupid. Maybe if she got a better personality, and was less dependent on others, she wouldn't be so alone. I could go on for days on this topic, since I'm a PSY major.
But I digress, I hope she gets everything she deserves. Weather for good or bad. Maybe then she'll gain perspective and aim for obtainable goals, and the men that she would be worthy of. (Hopefully a good and patient man.Since I have a feeling he'd need to be, to be with her.)
Well, good Luck Princess, you'll need it.
Posted by: Chaos | October 23, 2009 at 03:56 AM
Mmm is this site a joke..haha I recommend you that use your boobs as main weapon(if u have a respectable size of course), men love boobs, and be funny and above all things, dont be jealous.
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